A short Q&A with Il Stanco Pepperoni
Where are you ISP? Piacenza, Italy
Where is that? Go to google.com and type in Piacenza Italy
How long did it take you to get there? The worst 36 hours of my life.
Did you think your plane was going to crash? Every second, for 34,200 seconds.
Did you get any rest during the travel? After 24 hours on high alert, I took a 30 minute nap next to a hobo at London Heathrow.
What does the wine in Italy taste like? Fermented grapes.
What was the best part of traveling that far alone? It probably occurred at Milan Airport. I couldn’t read any signs. I didn’t know how to ask for help. My phone didn’t work. I was running on fumes. Best 20 minutes of my life.
How can I keep from getting ISP and ICP confused? You can’t. We are both juggalos.
What is your favorite Italian word? Japan. Imagine a Micheal Jackson voice saying Jah-pone-ay!
Il Stanco Pepperoni is back by popular demand. By popular demand I mean two short sentences in The Informer’s blog asking Il Stanco Pepperoni to reintroduce the internet with his nonsense in a blog format.
TSP, why are you stanco? Because everyone here drinks so damn much espresso that it is impossible to sleep. Maybe I shouldn’t drink so much coffee, but I am so stanco and it is so accessible that I must have it to get through the day. It is a vicious circle, similar to the great circle of life that Mufasa taught Simbah in the Lion King. However, my circle doesn’t involve Rafiki diddling Simbah on a perch upon Pride Rock.
Speaking of diddling kids, wtf was going on at Penn State. Glad I don’t have time to follow that story.
Is a stanco pepperoni real? No, it isn’t even written correctly.
I need to clear up a previously stated misconception. I am not actually a juggalo. I firmly believe that the Insane Clown Posse should permanently change their name to The Pooptarts.
What is the best part of Italy? The people. Everyone here that I have met is so remarkably nice that it’s disgusting. I would be homesick already if I weren't surrounded by such amazing, warm, and friendly people.
What is the weirdest part of Italy? The bidet. The bidet is a toilet looking sink with a soft running fountain above it. After you take a poo-cake you lift yourself off of the toilet and move over to the bidet. You spread out over the top of the bidet and lower your ass near the fountain. You put some water on your hand and commence finger to bh action, rubbing vigorously. Afterwards, it is desirable to wash your hands.
What is a pooptart? It is someone that wears clown makeup and didn't graduate high school.
But ISP, how many ICP compact discs do you own? Four, but I was young and stupid when I purchased them.
Didn’t you put all of those ICP CDs on your Ipod before you left for Italy? No comment.
I know what you’re thinking. You are hoping TSP has posted an informational video on the blog on how to use a bidet. Sorry, I don’t roll that way.
Media:
The first picture I took on a street in Piacenza near where I live.
More Piacenza.
A news stand in Piacenza where I can't read the news. This is so exciting.
Piacenza in the evening with the oldest church and campanella in the background.
The view from a friend's apartment in Parma.
A look at Parma near the main church of the city. Also a glimpse of a man apparently gouging a child's eye.
A look across the Parma River which is inhabited with mice like creatures the size of a cat... Or so I was told.
Zoolander sighting.
My persona in Italy.
Sound clip of a lovely girl, Daniella, that I met through a friend at work hopelessly educating me on the history of Parma. My Italian is fluent. Bawnjorno.
